Reasonable vs Unrealistic Expectations in Relationships

• Is it possible that we have different interests than our partner?

• Is it okay that we find our partners irritable at times?

• Can we accept that we are all humans and ultimately have flaws?

What are some of the lies that Hollywood, Disney and all those romance books taught us?
Our partners should know what we are thinking and feeling.
They are my soul mate, and they complete me.

I often tell my clients who come to me for relationship counselling that the expectation of unconditional love from our partner is unrealistic. We are taught that love is unconditional or should be, and when we find "the one," we will be happy.

Friends, that is A LOT of pressure to put on your partner. A LOT.

I am not saying that expectations are wrong.
We must expect to be treated with kindness, love, affection and respect. There is no tolerance for abuse of any kind.

However, if we expect our relationship to be free of conflicts, that is unrealistic.

Talk to couples who have been together for a long time, and they will tell you that conflicts can be productive. When disputes are dealt with compassionately and handled healthily, we learn a lot from our partners and how to repair them effectively.

More importantly, and hopefully, we understand that conflicts do not mean our relationship is in jeopardy and our partner doesn't love us.

A more realistic approach to relationships, friendships or romantic love is to love a person without expecting to love every part of them.

Is it possible that we have different interests than our partner?
Is it okay that we find our partners irritable at times?
Can we accept that we are all humans and ultimately have flaws?

Note: I am all for speaking our truth, accepting our partners' flaws and being kind, but if yours is a toxic or abusive relationship, please seek help. Reach out to your community, the local crisis line, or your healthcare provider to get care. Look after your safety.