2017 – The Year I Learned to Surrender

My word for 2017 was Surrender.

I think it was surrender. Maybe it was trust, but they are the same, aren’t they?
You cannot surrender without trust. They go hand in hand.

2017 was a big year.

Lot of lessons learned, I made a few soul friends, I did a lot of inner work, and I lost my father.

I surrendered.

I surrendered when I went to a wilderness retreat, slept under the stars for four nights (alone) and prayed that the bears won’t find me.
There were no bears. It funny where the mind goes.

I surrendered when I met new friends during my retreat and I shared my fears and hopes with these strangers.
I trusted that they would not judge me. They didn’t, they were understanding and loving.

I surrendered when my father was dying. I fought, I resisted, I cried, a lot, and then I surrendered.
What could I do? I had to trust that everything was playing out exactly the way it was supposed to.
It sucked but I surrendered.

I surrendered when my father died and I went home for the funeral.
I trusted that the airfare would be reasonable. It was.
I trusted that I would be okay during the funeral. I had to hold space for my family. I did.

I surrendered when I felt lost last winter. I felt like I was living my life without a purpose.
I tried to fix it. I meditated, I prayed, I talked to close friends, and then I surrendered.
I trusted that I was safe and that I was exactly where I needed to be.

2017 was a year filled with many adventures.
I travelled, I laughed, I cried (a lot), I walked the beach, I yelled at the universe.
I released a lot of my anger, and many of my fears and expectations.
I released relationships that no longer served me. I embraced allowing new people into my life.

I surrendered. The work continues.

It was a tough but good year.